Friday, June 26, 2009

Chop Chop

okay so remember how I told you guys that I was turning over a new leaf.... well one of those things to help me turn it over was CUTTING MY HAIRRRRRRRR (along side of quitting my cigs, getting on a diet, losing this weight, and traveling and creating my arts...lol


i am suppose to be cutting it today but im still tryin to find a reliable salon to go to but its becoming a task within itself.... ugh..


im kind of SCARED.... ~_~

I have had this mane of mine for soo long that its kind of sad to try to cut it now.

Also, for the past 2 years I have been tryin to grow my hair out longer with all these products and procedures (<---- in which have worked). so it seems kind of weird to all of a sudden want to cut it after all of this dedication. but hair is just hair............... right? lol

I am a natural baby, have been for about 11 years now. I have grown to love my natural tresses in so many ways. My hair gave me a meaning, a image, a voice. It has even brought me closer to my culture and to the heritage of my ancestors. But.....

I need this change in my life. 11 years is a long time. Don't worry though im not permin my hair... (that would be an abomination.)

im just going to make a drastic cut.... sort of like.......


with a mixtureeee of


and this ♥s her

* only difference is im getting it on BOTH sides... KOWW

now i know alot of you may be sayin that im just copying this broad

but in reality I'm not... I have always wanted to do my hair like this for a loooong time... i just didnt feel ready to do something so drastic and so daring. But i had always dreamed that when i get my dreads, i was gonna shave off a side of my head to put designs in it..and later a tattoo... but these bitches hop on this shyt before i could even get my dreads poppin off.

u know i was pissed..

besides no one wants to look like Cassie and her skin headed ass...

the other thang that pissed me off about it as well was, as most things, people are going to mimic these celebs and get these hairstyles just to have them. It makes me angry.. cause now since the bitch pictured above and a few other .. *cough* La La Vasquez... have gotten their hair cut like this alot of random ppl are gonna start getting it.

so i need to make my mark now cause i like to stand alone...

here are some before pics... :-)

okay so that enough... i was startin to get a lil carried away lol

so hopefully tomorrow i wil have some pics to show u of the new cut...



Thursday, June 25, 2009

NOT MICHAEL.................. *tear*







Beyonce was in town yesterday.

and I

MISSED IT!!!!!!!!

still kind of a little salty about that but its okay....
I have been lucky and privileged enough to see her not once but 3 times before in concert...so i can't really hate too much. but you know it still kind of aches lol.

Beyonce is the one of the only few performers that you don't mind throwin a couple of hundred on the table for concert tickets. She gives you the show u paid for ...


Just about the majority of my friends were there. so u knew i was gritting my teeth hard as all their tweets started to roll in talkin about the Queen. It was also clear that First Lady Michelle Obama and her two daughters Malia and Sasha were also present for the concert.

i just love them ......

so for everybody that went, I know you had a good time because who doesn't when the Queen comes in town. :-) (& yes i like to refer to Beyonce as Queen.. so get over it you haters. )

i really don't have much of anything else to say about it ... since i wasn't there...

major :-( face

so i'll just post a few pics from the concert that i got from www.beyoncedaily.org




all my single ladies ..... all my single ladies... oh oh ohhhhh ah ah ahhhh ohhh♫ lol

*hope I didn't ruin it for those of you that are still awaitin her to arrive to ya city.. sorry :-)


Wednesday, June 24, 2009

University of Nowhere

I just need this shirt in my life lol...

or i might just have to make one myself... :-P

i have so much to spill about my plans. lol

Goo Goo for GA GA

i her.

For all my GA GA fans, here is her full length Paparazzi music video. In my opinion this was one of the most visual attractive music videos I have seen in a looooooonnng time.

I just love her.. enjoy

Paparazzi - Lady Gaga

Sunday, June 21, 2009

Turnin Over a New Leaf

I should be really going to bed right about now.
But I wanted to update my blog so bad for some reason.

As of late I have been going through alot of ...... well ..........well alot of nothing, mix with a dab of Bullshyt.

it just makes me wanna cry, scream, throw shyt, break shyt, cuss everyone, neglect other goals, eat and sleep.


btw when i say nothing i don't mean "exactly nothing". I mean nothing in relation to "not doing the things that you set your self to do for yourself, whether it be short term or long term goals... "
I dont exactly know where this spell or mind frame came from. But i do know that it sort of just appeared around late 07', early 08' and preceded to get worst as 08 progressed... for the record 08 was one of the shittiest year i have experience so far in my dear life.

  • I left my school "Penn State University" ($$$$$) to transfer to a BS of a community college around my way...... it sucked ass....
  • picked up a full time job in the govt in a position that gives me no growth besides "work ethics"... & got treated like shyt, teased, harassed, drained and stressed the fuck out all while going to college (its "A LITTLE" better now)
  • was in a shitty ass relationship with a lazy indignant ass LEO of a boyfriend. UGH broke up with his ass.......... on my birthday (might i add)
  • lost a best friend for stupid reasons(friends for 15 years) smdh
  • gained between 30-45lbs. double UGH
  • had a fling with a male best friend.. which then crushed our friendship,
  • did NOTHING practically the entire summer...
  • had a straining ass part job as a server while working full time at the govt and going to school... :-/ Uber-UGH
  • was denied transfer to my new school of choice (because of some stupid math class) which required me to be at the BS community college for another year
  • had to pay for school... cause i could not get Financial Aid at that point in the year (my own fault)
  • gained more weight... gave all my clothes away....
  • bought a car... went broke...the list goes on lol

Im sure some of you can relate


all the above things im sure to you seem look like nothing more to you but whines.
Yet to me it was alot to deal with at the same time, not including some of the other misc things that have happened along the way that i did not mention. However, don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, since the majority of these experiences presented important life lessons. So with that being said ...moving on...
**Back to the Program**

Alot of these experiences, have and ashamedly said tore me down to a point where i was left confused, cluttered and dried up. I didn't feel like doing alot of shyt anymore. Felt as if my mind was in a locked up black prison cell with no light except for the gleaming light of my dreams and aspirations behind the iron bars of my depressing asylum.

I refuse to allow my mind to be trapped in that fuckery any longer... I've spent almost 2 years of my life in there. not anymore. This is not my make up. My mother didn't raise me like this nor did see raise me to be like this. So as of this month, I have made a promise to myself to do better for myself, accomplish more for my life and get back to my ambitious ways and get closer to GOD...

Cause i deserve it.

so technically tomorrow is the first day of my official turning over a new leaf... and im already failing because Im up writing this long ass essay at 2 in the gotdamn morning.... FAIL

so im out. I'll be back tomorrow to update on the rest
*since this post was clearly too long*....


I still have plenty of pics to post lol.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009


I think I found a new Love in....

check them out on myspace... they rock..

Reggae/Dancehall mixed with M.I.A.& Diplo/ Techno = everything I need.

Their latest video: Hold the Line

Sunday, June 7, 2009

YASSSS class of 09

My brother Graduated!!!!

*vogue voice*


he's cut off in the pic cause he like 6'1 and im only 5'5 lol lol

Monday, June 1, 2009

I feel DEAD

As of late it feels as if I have been losing a part of myself...

I don't know if it relates to the facts that I am a prisoners of a (9-5) 9-630 that succumbs to the seclusion of her cubicle or that I am a victim of internet brain slaughter. Which ever it may be. I need a change.

I need a change because I feel like some of my intellect(including all vital internal organs are disintegrating into black soot). I refuse to allow this world to grab a hold of me as such.

God has so much meaning for my life. I just know he does.
And being dumbfounded is not one of them.

I need to surround myself with more friends/people with substance and get involved in activities of meaningful purpose. Mmm better yet I need a good fuckin book. (any suggestions)

What ever it may be...
I need a intervention.

(so to give me something to look forward to. i think Im going to start this "a photo a day" memoir. lol It should be fun. I love photography and photography loves me lol. (<--corny) ...should be fun)

photo taken by Jeremiah
edited by Me